Words from a Recently Diagnosed Introvert

Sunday, October 31, 2004

Peacocks don't talk

I am a peacock this year for Halloween.
I went to a party last night and was clearly the belle of the ball.

I didn't want to actually talk to anyone. I just wanted people to look at me and admire my brilliantly crafted costume.

When I had to actually speak, I found that I didn't have much to say, and frankly, neither did the people speaking to me.

I think we should all talk less and listen and ogle more.

Spoken by a true introvert.

Friday, October 29, 2004

My Hero

Mark Morford is a god. No two ways about it.
I wish I could write like him, run-on sentences be damned.
He's an introvert too.


Friday, October 22, 2004

So many misconceptions, so little time

Misconception #1: I'm excited about whoring myself to another rich, white male this morning for a measly portion of his millions to keep my organization, that's cleaning up the mess that his organization has made of the world, above water.

Misconception #2: I need another cup of coffee.

Misconception #3: My boss is a straight shooter

Misconception #4: I can get away with not ironing my shirt today

Misconception #5: I can afford to go to France for the holidays

Tuesday, October 19, 2004


So, this is what happens when an introvert poses as an extrovert:
when it's time for lay offs and cut backs, the extrovert poser doesn't get the ax, but rather a promotion, because "we can't do it without ya, kid."

The introvert is secretly saying to herself, "shit, I really wanted to be laid off, collect unemployment for a few months, and then move to France to be a gardener and play accordion."

The extrovert fake, however, responds confidently with, "yes, of course. I completely understand your difficult position and doing more with less is actually my forte. Whittling a 14 person staff down to seven is a tough decision, but someone had to do it and ultimately it's better for all of us. I'll go out and begin presenting this entirely new strategy next week. Thank you for this challenging opportunity."

The introvert continues to talk secretly to herself, "Why me? I'm just a procrastinator who bullshits well. Why didn't you let the pregnant women keep her job? Or the mother of two? Or the sole bread winner who supports her grad student fiance? Or the person who works 80 hr weeks and produces more than all of us put together? I'm a fake!

My boss likes me as an extrovert. Would she still like me as an introvert?

Friday, October 15, 2004

Waking up an Introvert

So, I have lived three full days now officially as an introvert.
I have to say, I'm seeing the world through a slightly different lens.

I'm finally witnessing the fundamental duality of the human species - introvert vs extrovert.

Extroverts are energy suckers and introverts are energy givers - suckers vs givers.

My favorite past-times are: playing with my dog, reading, gardening, watching esoteric foreign flicks, being underwater for long periods of time, yoga, and climbing mountains.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

I've taken the leap

After months of procrastination, I finally have a blog.
This is partly due to the fact that this week my therapist, with complete certainty, diagnosed me as an introvert.
I had always thought I was an extrovert.

But I'm not. Maybe that's why being an extrovert felt so shitty; because I'm not one.
But I thought I was.

I'm relieved.
This explains so much.

This blog is the quiet celebration of beginning of my life as introvert.

Welcome to the musings of a recently diagnosed introvert.